Unknown Speaker 00:00 Like if a mom is one coat, she was a real mother. And the child does not use the Singleton's mother, even though they're struggling with who the other woman is, he sees the boss's mother. And Unknown Speaker 00:14 the end with what one woman went to school Unknown Speaker 00:17 and to spread Cheever friends, is that your real audio, your fake money, and the kids are trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure out what is the story here and can we say hi there, no wants to I didn't want to take money. But that's certainly something to take into consideration. However, the experience of children who were born into heterosexual marriages, and then their mothers came out, and like, particularly if they came out as teenagers. Mothers and and then experiences of children who were born into a lesbian relationship. And those kids that I know of, I don't know, many kids who wanted to look like that kind of reached Unknown Speaker 01:17 adolescence, we always want Unknown Speaker 01:21 people to think in new york anyway to be doing without. But certainly, that the needs of the child particularly and how to respect their sometimes they don't want to take they want you to they want to be God. But those are things you have to do you want to come out or not. And then if you do have to that you don't kind of protect yourself, so that you will be recognized as important in the life of this child, which is because you don't have there is not already a socially acknowledged kinship role on the second female parents. Unknown Speaker 02:22 That's something that it doesn't seem like it shouldn't be insurmountable problem, because I mean, like 50 years ago, you've chosen probably didn't have the same experience of having single parents or step parents or live in boyfriend and all the different varieties that you have now, you know, probably usable, would have been a real thing and not have, you know, Unknown Speaker 02:49 except that, you know, Unknown Speaker 02:51 what we're talking about is very much white kinship Unknown Speaker 02:55 roles, or white middle class, Unknown Speaker 02:56 black families, situations with very different, you know, with extended families and, you know, a child allowance, Unknown Speaker 03:06 the mother cared for it or thought or I don't know, either the grandmother or Unknown Speaker 03:10 Darius aunts or uncles, aunts. I mean, that. I mean, we've limited caring Unknown Speaker 03:17 for the children. Unknown Speaker 03:21 And, and, I mean, there are a lot more black children raised by grandmother than white. That, and I know, I mean, I know women who were weren't raised by women. I mean, I think it's sort of related to what we're talking Unknown Speaker 03:44 about women and mothers are two different ages. And then what is the child of the grandmother the laptop we have to come back to? Unknown Speaker 03:58 Well, it's different. I just wanted to point out that he was admitting that we were talking about to the point intervals, but also that there are images and what they are. But also that children have you been raised by women in non nuclear families? I think. But, but I guess those folks might be in class right now. You know, systems don't have the same legal stuff. You know, that. I mean, it hasn't been as much of an issue because it's, you know, they're black poor folks. Unknown Speaker 04:37 You know, getting dressed, but Unknown Speaker 04:40 I think that in how they refer to this report that it shouldn't be a big deal when it opens in the beginning. But I mentioned 50 years. 50 years built me, hopefully. If we work towards having our relationships, accepted and already hit the View button There was this preschool that had already variants, you know, little little preschoolers of lesbian moms are eventually public. I mean, Geraldo. It was incredible to me I first had just woken up in the morning it turns out that my dad has to me or presentation topic. But it's the people now are talking about in the end the pot the general public needs to be educated as to who we are to one another, even people who are willing to serve and they need to be educated and we need to change the legal system to reverse and to protect ourselves Unknown Speaker 05:40 for ourselves to see how we shape our lives Unknown Speaker 05:47 in what forms Unknown Speaker 05:49 it's important to see other lesbians out there living my life and I know a lot of older listeners can go back and it feels I'm not quite sure what the dress is something I wish I could see we don't see each other we are oppressed Unknown Speaker 06:32 want to meet all the Muslims like sage, which is a generational contract Unknown Speaker 06:43 that white contacted longer Unknown Speaker 06:47 I think it's a problem I know that I personally experienced by being hands on structure is that I didn't know my life is going Unknown Speaker 06:54 to get Unknown Speaker 06:57 a day since but it's not certainly not going to tell you Golden Girls that changed the rider because there's so much more competition Yeah, yeah, that was wonderful. Unknown Speaker 07:18 I also wouldn't be Unknown Speaker 07:20 talking about Unknown Speaker 07:22 like rivalry liberal systems that way that's, that's a legal system that we do have to fit. And also my feeling the anthropological theory that I want to argue against is that everybody has a stake Unknown Speaker 07:40 and the end that you Unknown Speaker 07:41 just get it under David Schneider and that you just it never changes and so I really want to use my study as an example of change and reserve it as it's happening and get understood what people think about it as well as how they complete it. So I haven't worked with any black mothers yet and it's just like the heart of what happened with Irish Catholic parents when she became a lesbian and you know, so they just wish she had made because if the web was any kind of sex outside of marriage is just horrible within black men. There is an established and a lot of plans it depends on the class right, but I think that in a lot of black culture isn't accepting October's mother's proposal virus cannot replace family and Ireland's more complex woman talking. She was Unknown Speaker 09:10 very accepting whereas some of my brothers who are more middle class my parents are just very much more religious religious people very much yeah. Unknown Speaker 09:36 Everything to do with it. I certainly have people Unknown Speaker 09:46 certainly, if people who are trying to get Unknown Speaker 09:52 more initiatives Unknown Speaker 09:58 I believe in how Unknown Speaker 10:00 effectively for flexibility after people want to stay home, we talk about your support. Support Group sure where we're headed to get together. Have you together this particular support for women, mostly these are this woman who wants to catch on. Like, right after the second meeting suddenly evaporated. Interesting. Unknown Speaker 10:48 Well, first of all, before continuing on April 24, what are you gonna give me? I'll give you my number. But we wanted to have a meeting for Unknown Speaker 11:00 your groups happy? Unknown Speaker 11:01 Did you just start it? You know, the way our group started, that friend of mine wanted to get into, and they call Tony, our group is fulfilled. But here are the names of people who know who could get into average. So why don't you start your own group. So she, then they hurt other people. So just start, and now each of us have people who want to come here, but my feeling is 13 is too many. When we get them all together, everybody knows somebody, why don't we have a party. And then there's another group. So we're all going to get together at the end of the day. Reports if anyone's interested, we didn't have a place for you. If you want to start a group, you can make it whatever you want. I can just tell my group is disappointed for women who watch it or have it Unknown Speaker 11:51 if you're great, people will Unknown Speaker 11:59 feel more like they would prefer to have an intimate, intimate humans getting the largest span of view. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So what we do is basically go around and talk about what's happening, we meet once a month, it's another group in that we meet once a month and talk about what's happening, for example, a double duty trying to get pregnant. Pregnant. So you know, they talk about whatever they want to Unknown Speaker 12:43 do, it's more of I like to look at it later on, probably want to get too deep with other people is that you can have a larger network that I'd like to talk about with me talk Unknown Speaker 13:00 about lots of stuff and Unknown Speaker 13:02 a lot of habits to get yourself to the world. And Unknown Speaker 13:06 we were talking about that a Unknown Speaker 13:09 lot of measure that you know how to get pregnant. Unknown Speaker 13:13 Doctors, are you personally like sort of in here for Unknown Speaker 13:19 much more than that? Unknown Speaker 13:23 For me, it's burger robot. This has really helped me to structure to think about it. Unknown Speaker 13:30 I'm not in relationship. So I don't have something to constantly talk to that I think about in my head. But I felt like instruction. That's an issue that we didn't really talk about, what about children? And like, do we have to wait to be in a good relationship? And I feel like I feel like, like, relationships aren't always that stable. Unknown Speaker 13:58 And, you know, if you're gonna have a child, it's, it's a long commitment. And he knows we're gonna have a 20 year relationship, you know, but I'm gonna have a kid that you need support 20 years, you know. And I also feel like, you know, like, I don't want to wait, like, I feel like, like, I'd like my child to be a part of my life and that like, Oh, welcome my career. And you know, they'll have a child or or I'll make sure but I would let I mean, it wouldn't be nice to not be a single mother. So I don't know, but I just feel like the child is important to me separately from a relationship. It's not like oh, it's the love between two people that's gonna have my child Now so so the childhood will be as distinguished from that Unknown Speaker 15:12 we have to think of Unknown Speaker 15:14 material conditions Unknown Speaker 15:19 child I just don't I don't think I have the resources myself to create the conditions Unknown Speaker 15:30 like having without Unknown Speaker 15:34 money was just considerable and Unknown Speaker 15:42 I personally thought about CO parents it's true they make more money so you know so that's and that and that's something that would be like it would be a friendship and it would be perhaps you know Yeah, Unknown Speaker 16:18 well certainly well woman I mean there are issues with that I mean, I have issues with men too. But But that's something I've found that some men that I like and then there is most of my men you know are very likely we're you know, very possible I think that's the Treasury a lot but it's too late to your rental payments. Or at least have them be sperm donors not apparently can't Unknown Speaker 17:02 give that to you. Sometimes, I've had female friends that Unknown Speaker 17:10 great as we can have kids Unknown Speaker 17:12 Yes, that was something I was wanting to find that was like that would be a lovely thing that came to some of the different teams for more to you. Most likely got to be leather are much better see. In Washington, in October and it in your mouth. Babies, lesbians. Today so that difference really? She was talking to you today? Oh, no. Oh yeah. Adapt Unknown Speaker 18:13 really fast. Because given you the option, yeah, yeah. I've met them here. I but they live in New York. Unknown Speaker 18:26 And maybe maybe they made it somewhere else could I know. Here Unknown Speaker 18:45 well, this, this Facebook board actually was very moving. They were just walking in an envelope checking that they Unknown Speaker 19:00 look like one of them actually. And then it's a little hesitant to talk and then they start talking. They were foster care. And the babies HIV positive. The father was just Unknown Speaker 19:19 there. They're having some gay men adopting babies who have AIDS over because these are totally adoptable and broken. I mean, it kind of extended to the regulations. I'm not sure. But there's more than one case where these men have adopted. They're the only dealt with. They have it accepted. Unknown Speaker 19:46 And then the lob I was so who knows. Unknown Speaker 19:51 They love the Massachusetts Unknown Speaker 19:56 State but they were just really just good luck. But at one point, the man who is like look, it's not like it's not as easy for us as it was for you, we can just go get ourselves. And then I suppose it's not that easy for us either. It's true. I Unknown Speaker 20:23 mean, they go get drunk and go to a bar. And I mean, that's Yeah. What do you mean? Unknown Speaker 20:33 Pass straight, and you know it's about several Unknown Speaker 20:57 someone said that, like, years ago, something that wasn't Unknown Speaker 21:07 they had. And they had, like, for example, they have one child, that seven COVID. And all the women in the share house, and we talked about people aspects of it, and how when homeowners didn't leave the house to the child, her parents, you know, having to negotiate Unknown Speaker 21:30 with this child, you know, obviously, you know, Unknown Speaker 21:34 and COVID aspects, and then they had, you know, they all answered the question, how we got the most part. And one was very interesting, one woman told us, she had to love of her just, so she was now raising a child, but she thought she had the support of another lover and the relationship. Just she had two children. And she expected for me when she got pregnant with the remainder of Unknown Speaker 22:18 the relationship. Unknown Speaker 22:21 You know, and then the birth mother was saddled. I mean, she felt sad. When have you heard that Unknown Speaker 22:29 your mother gave you into your problem? Unknown Speaker 22:33 was our idea. Unknown Speaker 22:36 And then there's one woman no. And then they had a lesbian. They didn't know what they had. Unknown Speaker 22:54 And they met each other. With golden child. That was when they came together. They were talking about the problems and not knowing each other, and how to negotiate. I mean, I had I had trouble negotiating. Or any, as far as I was, Unknown Speaker 23:23 you know, you feel like if you go to Unknown Speaker 23:27 somebody's party, because that's Unknown Speaker 23:32 going to be I wonder. You and I want it to be right. Unknown Speaker 23:44 For you to know that that's a possibility and to cope with it, if it was in Africa relationships where people weren't prepared for that. Unknown Speaker 23:59 A panel of central companies, we have so many generations and centuries of the role playing that you don't take in that tradition, not a very good point you brought up because we're redefining everything, every sample. And I just thought that that just what you're saying, you know, you and I'm sure have exactly because we had actual tradition that has been going on for centuries. Unknown Speaker 24:30 Father, yeah, what do you do and there's no way Unknown Speaker 24:33 that we have internalized and that we're breaking up for you. Unknown Speaker 24:40 And that has nothing to do with the whole debate going on about the figure of the mother and who she is. And you know, the whole experience and mothering being a metaphor itself for love. That loving enough to deal with it. Go and restrain yourself and when coping with the body have to I'm not even aspects I find a lot of this I'm talking about you know we think oh shoot like and that's an aspect of it a lot of it has to do with mothering whether you're lifting or straightening has a lot to do about money is being discussed and things are interesting Unknown Speaker 25:28 to certainly aware of but short advice Unknown Speaker 25:31 considering great because it Unknown Speaker 25:35 really goes through a lot of problems can dissipate no matter what we actually Unknown Speaker 25:42 also I try to get this quality to the heart this sort of stewards or information getting done in here the right register to the left and also I've seen it work there we thank you all Unknown Speaker 26:21 for coming Great Unknown Speaker 26:44 648 Unknown Speaker 26:59 was hoping Unknown Speaker 27:07 to she could achieve and she could do are useful doing a Unknown Speaker 27:32 friend of mine Unknown Speaker 27:36 has a shower a teenager you just shoot we go we don't want many and then I will call now somebody will tell you that Unknown Speaker 28:28 give me a call if you need help finding a marketplace like soon as they booked the coffee house okay good okay good to see you again well what's going Unknown Speaker 28:50 on where she behaves like I don't Unknown Speaker 29:02 know between gonna get Unknown Speaker 29:12 like upset for Unknown Speaker 29:16 have. Arrived there's absolutely no question. I don't know that we are one family company and the last five years The only scholar I know so that shows that he had Unknown Speaker 30:20 and they have always been Unknown Speaker 30:25 well that's the heavy mornings now they have at least one Unknown Speaker 30:41 well if you're Unknown Speaker 30:47 just like me or photographs Unknown Speaker 30:53 and she was herself and she was frustrated she was in essence and now Unknown Speaker 31:09 Camila child calls yeah Unknown Speaker 31:13 costumes yet but that has said we are very interested to learn more looking at me because because he defends us she she actually Unknown Speaker 31:51 I take my name I'll tell you I try to keep it but I might be worth a disability Unknown Speaker 32:07 or peace are here's 1006 60 Unknown Speaker 32:22 This is really good. Unknown Speaker 32:26 The sort of first pass was I didn't I sort of I got a lot out of it. But it wasn't what I expected it to be. Unknown Speaker 32:36 About. Yeah. Great discussion. Unknown Speaker 32:44 It we started going it for 35. Yeah. Unknown Speaker 32:54 Yeah. And then by the time everyone was finished speaking, you're like, No, wait a minute, we've got to like, Unknown Speaker 32:59 there's just so much to say. I find that when people interview in Parliament to why I do it two or three times. They think about very well. And then the other things I forgot to say this and you know, I didn't know what to say was people. Right, so listen, people I know. I mean, some people I don't know at all, they are more nervous with me, which is a huge Unknown Speaker 33:25 I was really surprised on that. You said there's so many lesbian mothers like lesbian mothers. Brooklyn, it's like something you think about, you know, like, Oh, if I was gonna like write about this, I probably have to work really hard. But it's probably once you start looking. You realize Unknown Speaker 33:42 it's like going to Provincetown Wow. Here No, we live in Staten Island. Every goes to the Cooper Union. Unknown Speaker 34:00 As well, my sense is that I know that we can do this a handful. Gradually, Virginia. And now I think I know of like Unknown Speaker 34:18 50 Women who are planning to get pregnant, we're trying to do it mostly in the neighborhood. Unknown Speaker 34:26 And it's like, you know, when the minute anyone says fourth, everyone's aware who me or I have a friend. Yeah, I Unknown Speaker 34:33 mean, we suddenly discovered that we've got a lot talking about it with us. We just met these women on our street, Unknown Speaker 34:42 who like we spotted Unknown Speaker 34:45 timber and they have a rainbow flag. weekend they never responded and it turns out that they're part of a group called Staten Island lesbian kinship networks. And they like organize and they like Emery find like stuff like walk by their house couldn't help like during inviting us to get together and I think they meet like once a week or something where like everyone's welcome and like if it's just having like a movie to watch for and it's a very conscious convenience providing it was really funny because they all felt very conscious and that we own our shoes actually Unknown Speaker 35:52 what it was I was fascinated and we feel it's funny that like lives between Unknown Speaker 35:59 New York City I mean very much like sort of like the academically Unknown Speaker 36:02 they seem to be like you know, they play softball Unknown Speaker 36:10 well then there's this group Unknown Speaker 36:15 I mean like it's funny you mentioned that you guys going yeah it's funny like we're all like sometimes to connect with Unknown Speaker 36:28 the ex and that is just that moment but the picture was just came over and they carry a Unknown Speaker 36:34 thought at first but then when you meet and like this post talking to this woman it's just like no as they really try to kind of be there for one another I need friends and people around me they're not politically involved in anything they just do social get together so everyone was and I think that maybe some of them find it more important because that is so forth families and it's not like living or living you get a sense that you're surrounded by nuclear families Unknown Speaker 37:17 I used to live on seven families and move to Staten Island last year wow that's that's to who I know I know her lover Unknown Speaker 37:46 and you're actually trying to introduce Unknown Speaker 37:52 because you stood in the village yet well this feels that way. Unknown Speaker 37:58 Yeah, I mean, this is a fun never found this little restaurant like everybody goes to your Anthropology here we've got little lesbian eatery women on your excuse every every type case that nothing is there because the validity to their knowledge to carry out but they're the kind of women it's very apparent that there was I don't know, it's hard to Unknown Speaker 38:30 get into the look, of course, some people you catch it right away and people who don't and some people do that on purpose. And Unknown Speaker 38:38 it's really fun. It's been there for like, Unknown Speaker 38:40 two years though. Yeah. And Unknown Speaker 38:42 we just found that about a while ago, the diner and like Unknown Speaker 38:46 every diner with their family consists of me that every Friday night she hasn't. It's things like Unknown Speaker 38:58 last night it was like filet mignon. And they have like a pasta pitch and they have right there and they're playing like Unknown Speaker 39:09 stuff on their boombox so like they're playing Julie holiday and he changes we celebrate a birthday Unknown Speaker 39:25 called and it's I'm scouting sites in place because four or five minutes away. Unknown Speaker 39:33 It's a great sort of, we find that we have dinner every Friday night. A way to get our friends out to Staten Island anywhere yeah. From Friday Unknown Speaker 40:00 because it's fun to it's fun because that's kind of Unknown Speaker 40:04 recognized Unknown Speaker 40:06 as a couple of lectures a little bit younger but not totally Well, thank you Unknown Speaker 40:22 for coming Unknown Speaker 40:27 to take care of our age to workshop determinated Robyn good to talk to you Yeah, she did it Unknown Speaker 40:38 meet well just because last year at Robin arranged there was no SP workshop stated and Robin. Robin purchasing is one of the easily connected systems but last year, I didn't think about it. Unknown Speaker 40:54 It was just curious. Unknown Speaker 40:59 Yeah. And I worked with the but yeah. But I'm also pushed here at the Gay and Lesbian Alliance it's a university wide here Well, I don't know whose idea the other one Robbins idea. Right. Yeah. Unknown Speaker 41:42 Good. Good. Great. Do you enjoy your work? It sounds really? Yeah. Unknown Speaker 41:50 Yeah, I mean, my problem is that I don't get enough time to do it. You know, this tape recorder was going Unknown Speaker 42:02 on when we were talking. Unknown Speaker 42:05 That was a range but by learning centers that we get to make, right yeah, that's right. Unknown Speaker 42:13 I grew up my room. Unknown Speaker 42:19 Is that okay? Unknown Speaker 42:21 No, it was okay. It was just like what we would do Oh,