Unknown Speaker 00:37 Evening welcome this is the session on girl sexuality. I am a faculty member here in the economics department in foreigners. You may wonder why an economist design, sexuality, you'll find out when I was the last. We have a wonderful panel plan today. I'm going to introduce everyone and a little bit about what they're going to say so you can have a sense of the order of topics. What I'm going to ask is we'll have each presentation, would you say questions and discussion for the end and then we can have an open discussion about all of the issues to raise I think there's enough overlap on some of the topics that will be useful to talk about all together and I'll start on in Chambliss, who is on your sleep, slip Eileen Lucas, note that the edition has the wrong spelling there. It's cool. She is director of the Smithers alcoholism treatment center and an adjunct professor at the NYU School of Nursing trainer with the NYU aids Mental Hygiene project. She's going to talk to us about issues lesbians and sexuality among adolescents, we have we have seated next to her Bonnie Leadbetter, who is an associate professor of developmental psychology at Yale University. She's going to talk to him about the messages that we send to teenagers, about their sexuality, primarily through the media, and in other places. And then we have Katherine dulcimer, who is a consultant psychologist at Columbia University mental health service, and author of female adolescents, she's going to share with us her observations about the trends in attitudes and problems associated with sexuality over the past 15 years or so based on her practices and clinician. And then finally, I'm going to bring up the rear and talk a little bit about issues from sort of an economists perspective about the consequences of teenage sexuality, primarily issues surrounding teenage motherhood. So I think we've covered quite a bit of a range of topics here. We're going to start with Kylie and Unknown Speaker 03:24 thank you. I have to make some corrections. First of all, I'm not the director of Unknown Speaker 03:33 the nursing board. For sure. Unknown Speaker 03:37 Thank you. I'm also not an adjunct professor give voice to Columbia. And I'm also going to be talking about what's been some of the lessons students how they got out. Institute so they called me and asked me to do I don't know how useful storage. Unknown Speaker 04:13 Storage on 47 years old. I've been sober for about 19 and a half years. And two weeks after I got sober, I knew those practices. took me five years from that point. Very slow process. And I'll get back to that in a couple of minutes. I should also give you some background, California to white, upper middle class parents who also afford very liberal school. I grew up in the 1960s in the San Francisco Bay area. I knew from an early early age Unknown Speaker 05:03 was different Unknown Speaker 05:06 in that I was not really interested girls were interested in Unknown Speaker 05:11 or as young children wives Unknown Speaker 05:16 I was much more interested in Renton Tim had a always had a very very strong adventurous streak and always wanted to travel. My main goal in life Unknown Speaker 05:31 I should also Unknown Speaker 05:32 tell you that my brother was Unknown Speaker 05:35 I knew that my brother Unknown Speaker 05:40 out to lunch Unknown Speaker 05:43 and actually live officially several days and because of his tortured relationship or anything, have any information on some level that I didn't get along with my father and I couldn't bear to hear their clients communicate with each other. And so I was pretty determined I know that I had fantasies about when I was 14 Other pregnant so unusual. But I was teased about for some silly reason not share the virus. So friends, most developers, I really clammed up during really really repressed Unknown Speaker 06:56 boyfriends in high school age Unknown Speaker 07:03 I was not doing the kinds of things a lot of my peers do. People was younger and younger. Now with that same kind of my parents generation, 60s and so forth and I was remarkable because I think I'm the only one in some ways I shouldn't be here with our people my brother knew right before they actually during our series think I was the only member of generation that was Unknown Speaker 07:54 simply was very isolated resistance and flour during this time some broad Coronavirus. And I think that was a way to deal with my inability to do your schoolwork and I graduated the background in California moved to Europe Richard on nursing school. Really Unknown Speaker 08:42 I got sober as I said. Two weeks after I got sober I went with most touted as it was but I knew that I'd come home with people that I began with on fantasy. And it was a very liberating experience. Because of the way I was finally getting in touch with my own butt but it also hard Unknown Speaker 09:15 because as I said, Unknown Speaker 09:16 I wanted to be perfect. being lesbian was not one of my one of my childhood fantasies has been to go to Africa, in the missionary house, Unknown Speaker 09:40 and when a Peace Corps was developed into my dreams. And so two years after I got sober with all of this sexuality beginning to kind of but I want to do Unknown Speaker 09:58 missionary work Unknown Speaker 10:01 Now you have to because most Peace Corps volunteers smoked dope and had a sucks, that's what they do. And you're I was leaving or African having all of these feelings that were totally mixed up not having so you can see where the setup I had had sexual relationships, Unknown Speaker 10:33 by the way with my voice Unknown Speaker 10:38 as well not appears totally. But I had never really had a fully satisfying motion. Anywhere I was in the Peace Corps, and I didn't dare talk about any of this and no one knew who I was. Unknown Speaker 11:00 And by this time I knew the circle convinced. And I also knew during that two year period of time while I was in this country, I didn't address this, I was Unknown Speaker 11:19 really reached some sort of Unknown Speaker 11:24 ability to approximate. And then I had to kind of jump in for nothing. And there was a Peace Corps volunteer named Carrie, who I liked one day, we're actually going to rehab together. And we're going to go on his motorcycle passport area tomorrow market from Sierra Leone one of their morning sleeping without even pause. And remember lying and myopia, another blindness and feeling that I knew I no longer knew how Unknown Speaker 12:17 my ability to respond regardless of whether it was emotional or sexual. I wrote about this in the third person a couple of years later, she did not like. Unknown Speaker 12:33 And so I only say this to kind of underscore this a year later, I love to travel, I started the trip Unknown Speaker 12:51 and I was staying in the Rift Valley area of the planet is actually housed in NASA lawyers who have come to the hospital on this day and I was reading surveys was changed to publish a book about Berkeley during the 1960s and in this description of the relationship Unknown Speaker 13:34 and I remember reading this book I was outside in the Mid Valley of your house walking by on the side lawyers and everything else. I mean, you couldn't imagine a greater paradise with this thinking I want to get I want to jump in I don't want to be the person anymore. And you know how you see those pictures of animals and then you're given an answer. And the animal begins to wake up the last night. You know, I felt like I'm going to make a long story short I came back and actually carrying the guy who originally I was feeling fair. When I came back to this country, he was a wonderful and it was really certainly part of my awakening although I knew that when I was with him I was not I mean I love and a year later and I put myself in Unknown Speaker 14:35 positions where I would Unknown Speaker 14:40 finally slept with a woman and I remember being with her that night. This is what I have been looking for a while. And I remember thinking while I was thinking about you know how Unknown Speaker 14:59 you And somehow I completely lost here all this repressed sexual energy that I had been experiencing years. It was like Unknown Speaker 15:11 incredible. And it was wonderful, completely celebrated homosexuality. And it has been a wonderful Two decades after I had been out for about a year, and she and I worked together for five years, a wonderful relationship of marriage, and whether you're accepted Unknown Speaker 15:44 as my partner, and I had never come out to my college years, I was terrified, I was responsible. And after my brother died, was wonderful. Ellen and I did break up, which was a shattering experience, things like it's difficult and stuff, my mother, even though she was accepting that not only the standard as far as I was concerned took a long period of time for me to get Unknown Speaker 16:15 involved seriously. Unknown Speaker 16:18 And I remember thinking last year, Unknown Speaker 16:21 looking at all these Unknown Speaker 16:23 wedding rings, I was on the subway thinking I was looking there's nothing wrong with a year ago, actually, or next week, I met my current planning are really doing it a big registering tip. incredibly happy. You know, because it's such a short period of time, I think, last over the five year period where I was not able to talk about this and I think all of us are presupposed now it's not an easy simple process and I can very quickly come out of it without any sense of shame during so I know Unknown Speaker 17:53 he's not just not and you kind of want to get back here, I'm not gonna get perceptual effects, in some ways, the story of coming out is coming out for all girls. In some ways, the struggle, I think. Unknown Speaker 18:31 I think our role as women, as educators and younger is to try to understand why it becomes so difficult to discover your sexuality. I, in my own research, study adolescence. Unknown Speaker 18:58 particularly impressed. But the one thing that I think concerns me is that the majority of these young women say sorry, say that they didn't intend to. And the next one, they have some sense of what it means to not control your mind. In some of this statistics, in fact, the number of abortions for women in the 20 and older groups accounted for 77% of abortions in the United States. The under 17 group 90%. unattended for shepherd over that rare little or something similar 79% over 28% Just Getting some sense of our inability of women, teenagers to control. And so I think that we really need to I really need to talk about why it is or how it is to get out of control or not wanting to do it. And I think the message is of sex education you begin to get, particularly as pre adolescence, I think you'll get many messages about what's important. But as the adolescent to start getting messages about what it means to be separate. And I think many of the hidden message from Michelle Phan Michelle Siddiq, who looked at curriculum specifically particularly in New York City, and it was really asking questions about what's the history and what is the difference eating sexuality and really pointed out in particular that one of the messages is that we're victims male powerless and not control raging hormones and that we really do have very little control over their environment except in this fashion she also was very concerned about the presentation of sexuality girls or something integrations for your dog to convey actually will become disease with very little distortion, ambition and desire that girls might actually might or might enjoy or haven't managed to join. So that the victim mentality sort of refuses mentality to have interesting perspectives patient essentially put girls in the position as a company with some absolute desire for position of Unknown Speaker 22:30 responsibility Unknown Speaker 22:31 for themselves so that you don't have to say you wanted to come in very much educated to either sexuality to not want to do it or to consider the risks Unknown Speaker 22:53 and not and I think that our feelings in the way of not being part of something that we should have as are very much one of the new ways of looking at education for girls and I want to just give you a quick intro many 1995 T magazine and Unknown Speaker 23:27 and sassy on what it is okay, Kathy has the point here Kathy stop trying to decide about whether or not magazines go into slash shiny red lipstick boy, so let me step up. So what if I feel like a child care? I read the magazine it's powerfully outrageously elegant. Oh, this letter was fun I tell you it's all for the fun of it cannot surprisingly she gets the reception that she spirit liberated itself will bring over lunch and can you people make your weekend following the prescriptions of amazing supports beautiful what sexy ends up in our hearts in a way you know, becoming this great blog with red lens, you know, I can really do that and can go out in the street looking like that. And as you walk further, further down the street, the lives become bigger and bigger and bigger until that to what you believe anyone. Everyone is seen in the sort of idea of looking good and feeling shame and the reception that she gets, as shame Bad Boy. Anyway everything messages are really delivered in these bags you can take away that mustard extension anyway, in sassy you learn all about how to curl how to be a sexual girl says it's a slightly older version of teen teen is like an audience that tells you how to talk to boys don't pick out some are hot to show some skin, make them look twice, they would love to take you to the other one you're about to take, you can get a lot about how to find your capture manual strong. How to talk to a guy, and particularly interesting questions you're too embarrassed to ask. We've got the answers. And I just want you to clip really quickly into the 50 questions that are related to these questions that you're too embarrassed to ask if there are some questions that are what majority changes and you see in these questions, some of the shell finds arguments for security. Curious again how you know it started why penetration occurred started up fairly biological Unknown Speaker 26:53 and then there's one question is about what's normal. And what is continuous pain where there's no regular or it's premenstrual syndrome should I exercise should I do these two questions you're too embarrassed to ask and this being embarrassed to ask this question is really heavily in this literature on my discharges to expect what the yeast infection Unknown Speaker 27:38 causes what is Cuber again my general area there seems to be in touch on both sides of my normal what age group is Unknown Speaker 28:08 when my friends don't work like the ones I've seen toxic shock you can skip a few to get you to do? Stretch Marks rigidity. These are questions these are the these are the kinds of things that people that young people think about. Unknown Speaker 29:24 There's a great PBS children's television network. What kids want to know about sex orientation? These are kids questions. I think this was a radical release that dealt with addiction and destination. So it had a great prep. But I wish that I had enough time to show it to you that some of the things that the facilitator does in terms of demonstrating how we there shouldn't be questions or how embarrassed you shouldn't be about the changes in the bar. Have you know things going wrong here but but not really knowing quite how to control them a lot of the education around a lot of the education around using pads has to do with not only keeping clean not having any leaks or accidents, but around secret stick around. Don't let anybody know that although your your progress made me really excited the first time they don't want to know about Unknown Speaker 30:37 it need to do your parents so you don't have to do a lot of things to get noticed true. By wearing a pantsuit, the one you really don't want to you know have a nice narrow accent. They want to be worried about embarrassing Unknown Speaker 30:54 delivery I think that sort of undercurrent in some of these messages that are wanting that they can get diseases it's something you can know too much about that you can have difficulties hiding these surprises your students surprising experience that people really shouldn't know the secret of the sort of emphasis on disguising your sexuality disguising yourself and we really are teaching girls a very assertive way that they are not able to do anything bad might happen to end up you really do not see them as the agents who are researching the take home messages and I have one more slide to think about are more questions with a pocket possibility controlling bodies our parents our sexuality undermined by confusion about our acting or inaction of our choice Unknown Speaker 32:00 to do or to Unknown Speaker 32:05 if you take charge your appearances yourself subject to you know when you arrive in your office if you do nothing, at least you don't have to be responsible or do you get Unknown Speaker 32:25 to belief that T mothers are the ones responsible products and then I just want to give you one this is four times in these two minutes. And really it's the same girl it's violence heart, this young woman is Courtney clean, and she's advertising way up to the top. No excuses and if you just sort of thing in on I would like to know what you think is the message can you just suddenly get four versions of the same thing in each of these people that bring it right down to the bottom and this is the message I'm interested in what you are hearing what are the messages Unknown Speaker 34:03 in previous picture, it looks like he or she is about to get undressing. But the issue is that she's going to be with yourself when we go to the violence and getting the gene and half the time it was just in great sincerity and joy. There's something about violence is made of people like quick things Unknown Speaker 34:33 I was just gonna say that because I've actually I've actually seen some of these ads and the thing that like I kind of got when I first saw it is that you know like right now there's this whole thing about being PC about violence so they like you know the violence of the voice of an ignored heart again, nobody really pays attention to that everyone's looking at the girl You know with our hands open you know so it's what is it the violence Unknown Speaker 35:09 what my first reaction to it was when I saw the ad is that you know, they're trying to make a statement about youth violence you know and then violence is something wrong and you know, try to you know yeah but then it just it just doesn't make sense to me. Why Why put that it's just kind of like this like little label that they decide to stick on to VPC you know, when obviously they all care about you sell your jeans and sell your jeans for Unknown Speaker 35:39 sex but I think that we're that there is a message here and it is going to get and we do have to vote for that notion about my heart you know there's something there's something happening here that God's deliver a message even if you just read violence voice apart no excuses you know we have the opportunity what what it what it's intended to be a lot of fun to create immediate effects of violence to say violence voice sexuality has been violent and they're trying to say in other words making check Unknown Speaker 36:37 for gentle we're short here to show you she can come back Are there any Unknown Speaker 37:21 chairs yes they're Unknown Speaker 37:25 better in the better we can come back with a check to bless witches teammates I'm gonna use Unknown Speaker 38:32 all right we have Catherine dulcimer next I'm Becky because of the tape recorder Unknown Speaker 38:51 different sort of data technologies really provide experience consulting service contact with students there and stories Colombian teaching so I'd like to do is to look back over what I heard and observe as a clinician over the past Unknown Speaker 39:50 thought well okay, this is the scholar Roman numeral 21 years 20 or 25 years of medical experience. And the first thing that I want to say, looking back over this astonishing period of history that we lived through, in obvious ways how much things have changed primarily in English. But it is certainly the case of professional schools, occupations lacks Unknown Speaker 40:44 curricula, that sort of thing, particularly, women's sports is enormous importance. And as a measure of how much things have changed in that example, close to home, as everybody knows about the events surrounding the building of the yearly growth University as the world expands to. Sure, I'd be glad when there was a proposal to build a gymnasium there was a lot of controversy about whether that gym should be accessible only to members of the family or to the community which is located. There was passion for high blood we shared the police were called. Things happened here that really continued to rebound. Any rate it was built, but I've never heard anybody comment on this. But when it was finally, there were no lockers for women. When my train reverted, and when I went to play squash, we had to go to the visiting teams locker rooms. So some things have changed. More directly on our subject of sexuality. the legalization of abortion portion of widespread availability of birth control pills, I certainly diminish your pregnancy. In the relaxation of some toddlers there's no question that for girls are engaging in sexual activity. And I do want to emphasize the whole range of activity, which is very important to emphasize that is essentially not speaking. More people are continuing their sexualized government than they did in the past. So the first point I want to make is how much change understanding is held. Here I'm turning, really, from what I've read, partly to what's presented and what I've heard and what I'm hearing, as a clinician, which leads me to think within the privacy of our hearts, things change much more slowly. And more slowly, even visible, outside observers, sees all behavior and doesn't know the meaning of that subjective to the person engaging, and here's where I want to talk about I'm going to be speaking about heterosexuality really, because that's where I can speak important Unknown Speaker 44:30 but like many people, I haven't seen as many as experience and those essential lives as well as later in life in periods. Unknown Speaker 44:53 So there's no period of life which I think the rhythms of development are as different than males. As during adolescence, I know aspects of experience in which these discrepancies are more evident than in religion, sexuality. Even today, I find difficult to find words in which to talk about these differences, just as the girls are still in adolescence, often has difficulty finding the words for what she experienced. And I mean really talking about what she experienced the world create a new storyboard. But, I mean, that suggested and I think my own profession is the terms that are widely used to describe the onset of puberty in both sexes are metaphors for sexual experience. It's customary in the psychological literature that early adolescence, read about the flood of impulses, the upsurge of the man maturation spurt. Very metaphors used to describe the onset of puberty are drawn from the sexual experience of males. The adolescent girls very different experience, emergent sexuality. For older lives, boys have had experience of having erections visible, embarrassing, disability to check Japanese, have retreats, whatever internal conflict avoidance, that is sexuality has plenty of internal topic Afghan working in Colombia. It was a male college and they only saw the Oscar